Something Paul McVeigh illustrates so well in his new book, 'It's Not About You: The Psychology of Leadership'.
Breaking through at Tottenham, enjoying eight successful years - across two spells - with Norwich City and boasting over 20 caps with Northern Ireland, McVeigh is still working at the elite level as a performance consultant at the top end of business.
In his new book, the first Premier League player to gain a Masters of Science in Psychology, McVeigh has been able to bring together many captains of industry across multiple sectors to discuss what it takes to be a leader in the modern world.
Indeed, even one of interviewee helped shape the book's title, as he explained when speaking with Tribalfootball.com: "I felt that 'The Psychology of Leadership' on its own sounded a bit dry and academic. It didn’t really have a hook.
"What was interesting was that while interviewing 15 world-class performers and experts for the book, the same theme kept coming up again and again. Every conversation ended up in the same place: leadership wasn’t about the leader — it was about the people around them.
"The turning point came when I spoke to Emily Jansen in North America. She was the first female General Manager of a Major League Baseball team. I asked her an open question: 'Emily, what do you think about leadership?' And she said, 'Well, Paul, it’s not about you'.
"As soon as she said that, I thought, that’s it. That sums up every conversation I’ve had. She was the 15th and final interview, and I asked her if I could use it as the title. She said yes.
"So the book became 'It’s Not About You: The Psychology of Leadership'. It’s also the first in a trilogy, because all the keynote work I do globally fits into three areas: leadership, performance, and teamwork.
"The second book, which we’ve just started writing, will be released next year and is called 'It’s All About You: The Psychology of Performance'. The third, planned for 2027, will be 'It’s All About Team: The Psychology of Teamwork'.
"The idea is that these titles are more accessible, more human, and less academic — but still grounded in psychology."
The Great Man Theory
Indeed, there is something for everyone in the first of the trilogy, with McVeigh speaking extensively with the likes of Alex Cruz, the former chairman of British Airways, CISCO UK's chief exec Sarah Walker and retired US Navy SEAL officer, Mike Sarraiville - along with many more leaders across all types of pursuits.
In terms of football, McVeigh was able to sit down with World Cup winner Emmanuel Petit and Ben Mee, the former Brentford defender, and pursue their thoughts on leadership in the game.
For his part, McVeigh recalls how his own 'Great Man Theory', which he discusses in the book, could apply to one of his former managers, Mick Harford at Luton Town. While he had only a short spell with the Hatters legend, Harford did make an impression on the then striker.
"For anyone unfamiliar with Great Man Theory, it’s the idea that leadership historically came from the biggest, strongest, loudest person in the room. The leader was usually physically dominant or forceful," McVeigh told us.
"It’s called Great Man Theory because, historically, leadership was almost exclusively male. If you look back through history, very few women were given leadership roles, so the model itself is gendered.
"Mick Harford is actually a very good example of that theory. As a player, he was one of the biggest, strongest, and toughest forwards you could ever face. Ask any defender who played against Mick Harford — they’ll tell you how hard he was to play against.
"That style of leadership worked incredibly well in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. But you don’t really see many players like that now. You don’t see many six-foot-four centre-forwards who just back into defenders, head everything, and wait for crosses.
"Football has evolved.
"When Mick was my manager at Luton Town, we actually had a successful season — despite being relegated due to financial administration issues. We won the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy at Wembley, beating teams from higher divisions.
"That success came from his leadership style: Togetherness. Work rate. Running harder than the opposition. Outworking everyone. That’s Great Man Theory in action — and it worked, to a point.
"But that style only takes you so far.
"Once you get to the Premier League — and especially international football — that approach gets exposed. When Northern Ireland tried to play that traditional British long-ball style against top international teams, we were completely outplayed.
"We’d hit long balls into channels, and the opposition defenders would just drop off, read it, and regain possession. Then we wouldn’t see the ball again for eight or nine minutes because they were so comfortable in possession.
"That’s where Great Man Theory reaches its limit. At the highest level, leadership has to evolve. It becomes less about dominance and more about intelligence, adaptability, and collective performance."
Qualities McVeigh explores in a deep - yet accessible - way in his new book, 'It's Not About You: The Psychology of Leadership'.
- It's Not About You: The Psychology of Leadership, by Paul McVeigh can be purchased from Amazon